This is the story I wish I didn't have to tell

Do you ever stop and look around and realize that nothing is how you want it to be? That you don’t like your friends, or yourself? Do you think “wow, how did things end up like this?”

Because I do.

My friends are…some of them are better friends than anyone could ask for. Others are betraying me without a thought to get what they want in life, because getting ahead is better than standing by someone’s side when they’ve stood by you, right? Others haven’t done anything wrong but I find myself wishing I could drift away from them, because I just have started to hate everything about them.

I find myself clinging to friends that I haven’t known that long and drawing them closer because it’s clear to me that they’re true, that they’re loyal, where others are fake and petty.

And when I get these thoughts, I feel petty. Like a bad friend.

Because every little thing they do just makes me angry. I see all of their faults and their good qualities become negligible when I see how much they copy me and claim to be original. I see that all of the things they say make them unique are things that I gave to them, I just want to shout “You’re not special! You stole from me and claimed that it was your idea!”

I should happy that they share my likes and loves, but instead they appropriate them and plagiarize my feelings, declaring them their own likes and loves.

But it’s more than that. They take a story that has been a favorite of mine for years and completely ruin it for me. And I hate it.

What gets to me more than anything else is that I feel like I can’t be myself anymore. I have to hide away the new band I realized I love, I have to just stop talking about the things I love and pretend that they don’t interest me.

The true point here is that I’m ready to move on and I wish college was right now so I could just start drifting away and not have it be such a big deal, you know?

Do you ever stop and look around and realize that nothing is how you want it to be? That you don’t like your friends, or yourself? Do you think “wow, how did things end up like this?”

Because I do.

My friends are…some of them are better friends than anyone could ask for. Others are betraying me without a thought to get what they want in life, because getting ahead is better than standing by someone’s side when they’ve stood by you, right? Others haven’t done anything wrong but I find myself wishing I could drift away from them, because I just have started to hate everything about them.

I find myself clinging to friends that I haven’t known that long and drawing them closer because it’s clear to me that they’re true, that they’re loyal, where others are fake and petty.

And when I get these thoughts, I feel petty. Like a bad friend.

Because every little thing they do just makes me angry. I see all of their faults and their good qualities become negligible when I see how much they copy me and claim to be original. I see that all of the things they say make them unique are things that I gave to them, I just want to shout “You’re not special! You stole from me and claimed that it was your idea!”

I should happy that they share my likes and loves, but instead they appropriate them and plagiarize my feelings, declaring them their own likes and loves.

But it’s more than that. They take a story that has been a favorite of mine for years and completely ruin it for me. And I hate it.

What gets to me more than anything else is that I feel like I can’t be myself anymore. I have to hide away the new band I realized I love, I have to just stop talking about the things I love and pretend that they don’t interest me.

The true point here is that I’m ready to move on and I wish college was right now so I could just start drifting away and not have it be such a big deal, you know?